-
Perfection
“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.”
― Margaret Atwood
Most of us know that perfection is an illusion. But many of us hold back from starting or continuing because we have a mindset that says we have to be good at something before we start or we have to succeed 100% of the time to continue. This mindset has no boundaries across humanity either.
“Ensure you have the experience and/or knowledge to own the business you have your eyes on.”
How many of you have heard this before? Yes, this is common sense. Who wouldn’t want to have experience in a business before we buying it. That makes perfect sense! But here is what most of us hear…
“I need to be an expert before I can start X…”
It is sayings like this that cause us to translate this into…
-
Humility (You think you’re all that? You should be ashamed of yourself.)
-
Security (A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.)
-
Having it all together (If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t bother.)
-
Being selfless (If you fail, you’ll have wasted precious resources on yourself.)
-
Not taking more than your share (You should be happy with what you’ve got.)
-
Hard work (If you fail, it’s because you didn’t work hard enough.)
-
Perfection (You only get one shot at this. You’d better get it right!)
I can’t start/buy/[add action here] because I don’t have X experience. Yes you need experience for things but many times it starts with confidence….
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
We’ve heard this saying but few people actually use it. Break up your goal into smaller chunks of action. But don’t wait until your goal is clearly perfected or has ‘all’ the smaller pieces added. You don’t know what you don’t know. This leads to the next point…
-
-
Lack of Adaptation
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
― Albert Einstein
“Twentieth century Swiss psychologist and genetic epistemologist Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development outlined four stages of learning. According to Piaget’s theory, adaptation is one of the important processes guiding cognitive development. The adaptation process itself can take place in two ways: assimilation and accommodation.”[1]
According to this work by Piaget learning something new is adapted into our ecosystem in 2 ways. If you read this work you discover that ‘“accommodation” takes longer usually because you and I have preconceived ideas or constructs in how and what we believe. If we’re not careful ways that we think about things (i.e. previous building blocks) can prevent us from learning a new way to think about something leading to breakouts in our personal development. In short, long held beliefs can keep us from adapting. Some people adapt to new ideas more quickly while others don’t. This plays out in people in a number of ways…
-
I didn’t get started early enough therefore it’s too late to start now.
-
The space is too crowded so it would be too hard to succeed.
-
My competition is X so it would never work.
The tinkerer mindset adapts and changes. You explore, re-invent, and move forward. Too many of us view change as the enemy rather than the path forward. You have to take a step in the direction you want to go first (i.e. make a decision) but once you do then you’ll need to adapt to the feedback loop you enter to help pivot to what works. Every successful person, project, & product does this.
3. Me, Myself, and I
Alone by yourself has been an American stigma. It’s rarely that way in real life. If you read history specifically about people who impacted our world you’ll find they worked hard but they had people who grounded them and helped hone their ideas or skill. Group think is not a bad word when you are trying to start something new. Join a community, in fact more than one. Learn from others and learn to share your ideas.
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” – Mother Teresa
4. Life Interruptions
Lack of flow or focus in the era of the internet is troubling. Our world seems obsessed with small time slices. It’s why all of the social media sights moved away from longer formats to shorter iterations. Even in my discipline, software development, we’ve pivoted to the deliver frequently fast mentality. There’s a problem with this though. It leads to a scrambled mindset and shitty work. Some people are disciplined and have habits that charge thru this chaos but most are left scattered in the ditch swimming in the pool of a million ideas and dreams.
“Life is an infinite sum of restarts.” – Aman Basra
In his article “Even If You Fail, Always Remember To Begin Again“, Aman talks about beginning again and again and again.
“Life is an infinite sum of restarts. Failure is not a dead road, failure is a disguised beginning. Point A can be redrawn wherever you please, in any setting at any time. Such is the flexibility of life. You fail, you fail, you fail. Over and over. But you begin just as frequently.“[2]
5. Negative Self-talk
Self talk is important and we all do it. I’ll leave this topic to the experts about how and why some of us are better at it than others. I’m not a big fan of “Name and Claim It’“ or “Self-Actualization” but science is clear about the power of how you talk about yourself. We can’t change every negative thought we think either. But your words to yourself especially the ones you speak out load can either help or hurt. It’s really a subtle nuance in life that few of us connect the dots with how we do this everyday and how we feel. Ignore this truth at your own peril.
“This inner voice combines conscious thoughts with inbuilt beliefs and biases to create an internal monologue throughout the day.”[3]
My dad is one of the most positive people I have known. I’m constantly reminded of this trait of his in nearly every interaction I have with him even now when he is 90 years old. His dad was a poor share crop farmer and had 12 children. He went on be the only one of the 12 that got a college education, worked overseas, and retired at 50. Now take me who dealt with none of those and I’ve struggled with negative self-talk for my entire life. It’s a mystery to me how the next generation(me) can not get the same level of gratitude or positive outlook after living in much better circumstances. I’ve left with at some level that it’s a choice you make daily…
6. If I had X sum of money
I think everyone that has tried to pivot or start something new their lives understands that money by itself is not the answer. Yes we all would like more of it and agree that it helps with the bare essentials and eventually can give us more choices and options. But that is really where it’s usefulness ends. Despite this admission I’m shocked how many times a switch in my head flips and I think to myself “If I had X amount of money then I’d do X.” The truth is I want to believe this but the reality is changing directions, learning something new, or creating/building is hard.
Most people blindly accept the fact that gaining money is essential for survival, without questioning its nature…
Inventions that benefit humanity are hidden or destroyed because they are not profitable, or because they interfere with the business of corporations. The supreme goal of modern man is to obtain wealth, because he believes that material things will bring him happiness… The accumulation of wealth has contributed to man’s greed and selfishness. Earning money is more important to him than being a good person, benefiting humanity, and even life itself. – Joseph P. Kauffman
Money isn’t bad but when our sole pursuit is about money we may never get started, continue or finish. It just isn’t a good goal that leads to a sustainable roadmap to success.
Start learning something new. Start building something for yourself, then for others. Money never stopped anyone from starting.
7. You can treat yourself like crap
This one is written about incessantly. I’m just going to leave you with the quotes below. You may be able to ignore this when you are young but nature has a way of slapping you upside the face.
Sleep: “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise” ~Benjamin Franklin
Exercise: “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” ~John F. Kennedy
Food: “Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” ~Doug Larson
Sugar: “The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” ~ Nassim Taleb
Alcohol: “There are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.” ~Bill Hicks